Carpool Drama
January/27/2008 02:37 PM Filed in: Satire | Nicole Hanratty | Drama | Moms | School | Life of a Rock Star
by Nicole Hanratty
This just in... School Carpool - a hotspot for drama! Bleary eyed mom’s do morning drive by hello waves, catching some and avoiding others. Watch out though, that innocent wave hello or lack thereof could be misconstrued. A turn of the head, a major snub.
Every morning and every afternoon, school parking lots and carpool lines bring about the very best and the very worst in those who navigate them.
Outfits are judged. “What is she wearing, anyway?” “Could that tennis skirt be any shorter?” “Didn’t she just wear that last week?” “Are those her only jeans?” “I always wear four inch heels to drop off my child...” “Oh, for the love of God, who does she think she’s kidding? Hasn’t she heard the rule? No mini skirts after age 35.” “Does she own that same Juicy sweat outfit in every color? (Lucky!)”
Shout-out impromptu coffee dates are conjured. Who gets invited? Who gets excluded? Nothing’s worse than showing up at Coffee Bean only to find your group of friends has already gathered and you weren’t included... That could ruin your whole day!
The morning drop off is fast but full of noteworthy content. Who’s talking to who? Who’s flirting with who? More importantly, who’s avoiding who? These are big topics for countless hours of speculation.
Wait! Is that the Nanny dropping off this morning? Which Mommy is a little too hungover to get out of bed today?
Hmm... Is that Daddy doing the driving? Let me check my lipstick. My goodness he’s hot!
And don’t forget to check out the children, they are walking billboards of information. Ever heard of a little thing called a hairbrush Mom? Makes one wonder if the teeth were brushed either. Now really, in thirty degree weather, shouldn’t little Johnny be wearing a jacket?
Watch out for the sirens, someone just might get a jay walking ticket. We don’t care if you’re late, follow the rules like everyone else please. Crosswalks are for your own safety. And don’t ever, ever cut into the carpool line. That’s a demerit no one can’t work off.
Most pathetic of all, Mommy-Never-Leaves who comes to drop off in the morning and finds endless reasons to stay. Ahhh... Sweet, really, but the school doesn’t need that much help. Please find another cause.
Afternoon carpool is a whole new ball game requiring the taxi drivers to Sit and Wait. Do you Park and Read? Call and Text? Stay in your car and stay out of trouble or venture out and dish the latest? Gossip, that is. Plan a playdate? Which brings me to another observation: who’s going home with who today? Really, the fun is endless.
I count myself lucky personally if I escape a day without incident. The carpool line can be a dangerous place, an information hotspot and entertainment for the masses.
Au revoir for now... n
Copyright 2008 Nicole Hanratty
